Let's talk about...

Confidence

Something I've always struggled w/ is confidence. My mother was my number one hype woman when I was growing up, she took my insecurities personally & fought to build my confidence starting at a young age. If I ever spoke negatively about myself, inside or outside, w/in moments she was listing her favorite things about me. However, she is dead so..

Don't take her death as a somber note, sure it is sad but it is always apart of life. It's something that can't be stopped &, even though I still struggle w/ her being gone, it's something that I've learned to accept. We can talk about accepting death at a later time.

Refocusing now... Confidence. Audentes fortuna iuvat. Or, fortune favors the bold.

Am I saying that fortune smiles down on those who are more confidant? Are those that are confidant more successful than those who are not? Sort of. Some of the most confident people that I have met are those who roll w/ the punches, let go regularly of negative energy, celebrate others success w/out feeling like it takes away from theirs, needs no validation but their own, they're not afraid to live in the moment, & are unapologetically themselves.

Let's unpack this shall we...

They roll w/ the punches, it doesn't matter what the universe throws at them because they're adapteable. They don't allow inconveniences to ruin their day, instead they're able to work around the issue & move on. This is something that I need to work on, tbh. I do struggle w/ making plans & giving them high expectations that don't always play out how I'd like them to.

Letting go, which is always easier said than done. Yet some of the most confidant people I've met can move on from something w/in a few moments & it is always like it never happened. They seem to have this innate ability to process, accept, & move on like it is second nature. I'm envious of it & I assume that ties back in w/ my high expectation issue. Hahah.

Celebrating others success can be difficult if you're not use to other's celebrating yours. Being excited & proud of your friends is a powerful feeling, both for you & them. It feeds positivity to the friendship & helps them build their confidence as well, while making your feel good.

Not needing validation from others is a big personal struggle of mine. Since I was placed w/ my dad my self esteem has continuously dropped. (Side Note: I no longer live w/ them, I moved out at 18 so no worries) But my dad's wife (Side Note again: I know there is a term for this but this woman was so awful to me that giving her the term "mom" in any sense feels horrid) often related the amount of respect & privacy she gave me w/ very specific things. However, that is also a lter topic of trauma to discuss that I am not ready for. But not needing validation, finding it w/in is a big flex & is admirable.

Not being afraid of living in the moment is something that everyone should do. Letting the best go so that you can move forward, releasing yourself from the negativity of the world, embracing life. Being out to follow through w/ spontaneous plans. Perhaps this also goes along w/ rolling w/ the punches?

&, lastly, being unapologetically yourself. Personally I feel as though this is what we all strive to do, right? Be our aesthetic selves, be true to the spirit w/in us, not feel like we have to wear a mask when we are around certain people or hide parts of ourselves. Really free ourselves from the weight of judgment that exists all around us.

So, if I had to build a confidant person (like on sims, ya know? even though they already have the trait...) these are some attributes that I could throw into the cauldron. Probably also a good hair routine too? That feels right?

That being said, I think it's important to be clear that I don't directly associate confidence w/ success. However, I do believe it aids greatly is achieving success & there is a study somewhere probably. This post is a random thought I had & I wrote is very fast, sort of like in a rant so I hope it doesn't read terrible. I don't have the energy to reread it & edit, forgive me. (Or not, I'm trying to be confidant)

Arrivederci

*Lore*