So, you're a Buddhist Poser?

Caio!

Guilty, it's been a while since the last post but my time has been occupied by lots on interesting things. The comic of Wilmington is finished & there is an event in the works in regards to its launch, Carpe Artes has grown & is in the process of a few developments, & I've actually been spending time with my friends lately.

Guilty, I haven't been reading lately like I said I would.

Firstly, I'd like to clear something up: the comic is called "Tales of the Cape Fear" & is an anthology, not an anthropology. The wonderful Grammarly goofed me in my last post so, allow me to correct that. So sorry.

Fun Fact: I was making an announcement at a Carpe Artes meeting & misspoke (Anthropology instead of Anthology) & everyone laughed at me. Personally, I believe I've suffered enough. Thanks

Second, the Anthology of Wilmington will have two events: a Launch party from 10pm-Midnight on August 13th where readers can come & meet the creators in an intimate setting (Bespoke Coffee & Dry Goods). & from 10am until whenever the crowd leaves, this will be considered a secondary Free Comic Book day, on August 14th, at Memory Lane Comics.

You can catch me there b/c I'll be signing, answering questions, & I'm having stickers made for the event!

& yes I know what you're thinking. Normally Free Comic Book day is the first saturday in May, however, thanks to all the covid regulations there was not one this year. Now that those regulations have lessened, Memory Lane thought it would be a good idea to celebrate still. Better late than never, ya know?

Carpe Artes will indeed have stickers now! I'm going to have two or three printed, I'm not 100% sure how many of each or have a set design in sight at the moment. I know one will be for sure the logo, for obvious reasons. The second (& possible third) will be something more out there since the group is full of "out there" people, I say that with a heart full of love. Depending in the number of stickers, there might be a "light" & a "dark" set to fit everyone's aesthetic.

Eventually, I'd love to have pins made too but that is a later project.

Okay, I assume by now you're wondering why the post is titled as it is & what it has to do with anything that being said. Well, it doesn't. That's the short answer.

The long answer is...

A new member was introduced at the latest Carpe Artes meeting, this member had a tattoo on his forearm. Out of curiosity I asked what it meant, to which he informed me that it was inspired by a Buddhist teaching. The tattoo was of a boat carving its way through the waves, the design was simple, graceful even. I asked him to explain, to which he recalled the story behind it (please excuse me b/c I am most likely going to butcher it here); the past cannot hold onto you, as long as you continue to move forward.

Immediately afterwards he informed me that he was in fact not a Buddhist & that he just appreciated the teaching.

To which I replied, "So, you're a poser? A Buddhist poser?" & promised that I'd make it the next title of my post.

However, the tattoo does/did have me thinking. Specifically about moving forward & not allowing negativity from the past hold you back. I've been struggling lately with opening up to others due to the hurt those who were close to me have caused. I've always been guarded but recently it feel as though it has gotten worse. It's hard to exactly explain, it's almost involuntary the way that I clam up & have to force myself to share any detail about myself. Even something simple like why I prefer one thing over another, Robin vs. Batgirl, ya know?

In all honesty, I think it might have something to do with people who dig too deep. I'm sure you know the people, when you make a passive-joking comment about something & they immediately want to know the root of the comment. But you don't know! It was just a joking comment to you but to them it's some sort of sign & they need to get to the bottom of it. They want to know everything that lead you to this point in your life. Then wonder why you don't talk as much around them afterwards.

When they say that words hold power, they're not lying. What you say & how you say it matters. Words stick with people just as long as actions do, that's why some people will flinch & leave when the idea of 'love' is thrown around.

However, that might be my commitment issues talking hahah...

Moving on, so I've been thinking about that tattoo & how you can't let the past hold onto you as you move forward. It's not secret that the past greatly effects me everyday but I think the immediate past can be just as haunting as the long-ago past, ya understand?

An example: a while ago I had an issue with a few of my friends, we had agreed to meet up but disagreed on the place. I explained why the place that they wanted to meet up at wouldn't work out &, instead of holding a discussion about it, they waved off my concern. The supposed-to-be-great meet up that was planned turned out exactly like I had predicted that it would.

I didn't feel good about correctly predicting the outcome, I care for my friends & our time spent together, but I felt as though my voice & opinion didn't matter.

& that is what I'm talking about, that last meet-up has been on my mind since then & even though I've thought about hanging out with those friends again it just feels... weird. It's what has held me back from reaching out to them again, even any of them individually.

On a related but not related note: sometimes when one person in a friend group is having success in achieving something that is closely related to what another friend is attempting to achieve, there can be tension. The tension is unnecessary,of course, b/c friends wouldn't do this to one another. Or, perhaps the friend who isn't achieving is simply jealous & the friend that is achieving has no idea what is going on, they aren't aware. Or, even worse, the friend that is achieving is bragging about the achievements while the friend who isn't achieving but is trying hard to do so, feels disrespected.

Obviously, I am rambling but I hope you're following along.

I supposed this just breaks down to people wanting to be original in an unoriginal world, which is sad to think about. It's difficult for people to share things with each other, I've had numerous occasions where I've stated that I enjoy or even love something & someone else has stated that they love it more than me.

(Sometimes people can be aggressive in proving that they love something more than you, yikes.)

Just b/c I (or you) enjoy something doesn't mean that we have to know every single little insignificant detail about it. An example you asked? Well I love Sailor Moon, it was one of the first anime's that I watched when I was a wee girl, do I know a couple insignificant details about each of the scouts & most of their birthdays? Yes. Do I think less of people who don't know these details? Ye- I mean no! All joking aside I don't, you (or me) are not required to know every detail of something to be a 'real' fan of it. Do you enjoy it? Great, you're a real fan!

Maybe I had too much free time right now. That must sound like a joke b/c I'm rarely posting on here or Instagram or anywhere. Social Media is draining. Sometimes I hate having a phone b/c it makes me feel as though I'm emotionally & mentally available to everyone at any moment of the day. I'm not but I'm the worse at putting myself first so I will def giving you every ounce of my energy until you're satisfied.

Too much free time is never a good thing so I need more hobbies. Or more friends to do things with. I'd like to get out of the house more, take day trips, make goofy purchases together, cook together, more memories. Perhaps I should buy more book, I've got two on my reading list right now Circe & Sandman Slim. I probably just need more things to fill my time with, that's all. Vocal should have some new writing challenges coming soon too.

Thanks for listening,

Buonanotte Tesoro

-Haunted Lore

Bonus Content: The morning was spent drinking coffee & repotting some plants. This lead me to purchase another plant later in the day from my favorite plant shop.

Aeaea is the name of my Animal Crossing island. Yes, it's inspired by the island that Circe lives on.

A few days ago I baked murder cookies. Sugar cookies that were cut with a gingerbread man cookie cutter but were missing limbs & a tab bit bloody. They were for a friends birthday.